


Five times

by liketheroad



Category: Bandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-16
Updated: 2008-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 08:11:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2461097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketheroad/pseuds/liketheroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Brendon had his first kiss</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times

**Author's Note:**

> Birthday fic for Lu <3

Brendon stormed out of the practice room because it was either that or punch Ryan-no-sing-it-right-Ross in his fucking face, and no matter how much he wanted to do it right then, Brendon knew he wouldn't be able to forgive himself a second after.

There wasn't anywhere for Brendon to go, of course, so he ended up slumped against the wall at the end of the hallway, trying to control his breathing and think of a way to go back in there and say, "Sing it how?" without making it sound like he's throwing it in Ryan's face that Ryan couldn't actually show him. That he couldn't use his own voice to show Brendon the things he wanted Brendon to do with his. He took a few minutes to be spiteful and imagine Ryan's face if he phrased it exactly like that, but it didn't really give him that much satisfaction. He wished Ryan could show him too, wished, if nothing else, that Ryan believed his voice had the same power that he trusted in his words.

Brendon sighed and cracked his neck, slowly rolling his shoulders and stretching out his fingers. Once he was starting to feel loose enough to be human again, he looked up and finally noticed that Pete was sitting beside him. He didn't actually jump back in shock, but it was a near thing.

Pete smiled his smallest, sweetest smile, the one that never came out for photos, except maybe candids of him when he was looking at Patrick. He handed Brendon a Capri Sun and Brendon wanted to laugh, wanted to feel better like the gesture was intended, but all he felt was tired.

He took a sip anyway, because he wasn't trying to be an ungrateful asshole and Pete was kind of their boss, although more than that he was starting to feel like a friend. But Pete just watched him speculatively. Brendon tried to smile but it didn't really work, and Pete shook his head and took the drink gently out of Brendon's hands.

Brendon opened his mouth to say, "No hey, give that back," because sometimes being demanding was the best way he knew to show his appreciation but Pete never let him get that far. Even before the first syllable had formed on his tongue all thoughts or possibilities of speaking were stopped by the cool, gentle press of Pete's lips against his.

Brendon had about 10 seconds to think "holy shit, I'm kissing Pete Wentz - I'm having my first kiss and it's from Pete Wentz" before it was over and Pete was smiling at him again, still that same smile, private and small, but a little more careful now.

"You looked like you could use it," Pete said, by way of explanation.

Brendon touched his fingers to his lips and found they were turned up in a smile.

Evidently Pete was smarter than he looked.

\---

Brendon is not really all that surprised when he walks into Spencer's garage about 10 minutes early for practice and finds Ryan and Spencer horizontal on the dingy couch across from Spencer's drums. Not that surprised to observe their mouths clamped together and Ryan's hand up Spencer's shirt. He takes a second to think, "real classy, Ross," and then tries to edge out of the garage as quietly as possible.

But of course this is him, so he knocks over one of their guitars as he's backing up and while they don't separate, Spencer's eyes fly open at the noise.

She makes a little noise, half low-down moan, half startled, that Brendon is pretty sure is going to haunt him for the rest of his days in his hopeless desire to hear it again, but Ryan just keeps on kissing her with the same concentration Brendon typically associates with watching Ryan play the guitar. Spencer makes another noise, no less shiver inducing but a little more familiar, annoyance coming through louder, and Ryan makes a responding sound against her lips and Brendon thinks, "of course," of course they'd still be able to talk even with their mouths glued together. They trade noises and kisses like a playful argument and Brendon kind of can't believe he's still standing there until Spencer actually slaps Ryan firmly on the back and finally he draws back. He stays mostly on top of her, leaning against the back of the couch, Spencer lying flat against the seats.

They both smile at him and Ryan waves a welcoming hand from Brendon's direction back to them.

Brendon swallows. They are absolutely not offering what the sudden hammering in his chest is suggesting they are offering.

Spencer's smile changes, from confident and coy to open and hopeful and Brendon feels his feet move without his own volition.

Ryan nods approvingly and says, "Come on in, Bren, the water's fine."

Eventually, when Brendon can talk again, he is so totally going to make fun of Ryan for being an enormous dork.

He gets as far as the edge of the couch, not really touching them yet, just standing there staring down at them.

Ryan smirks and Spencer smiles, and at once they both reach up and grab one of Brendon's hands, pulling him down on top of them. He lands with a completely un-suave "oomph" against Spencer's chest and when he regains focus in his eyes her smile has changed again, hungry this time.

He blinks and says, "Hi Spence," and she laughs, quick and delighted and says, "Hi Brendon," softly back.

He glances as best he can at Ryan, who smiles back and nods slightly - the last ounce of permission Brendon's tenuous self-control was waiting for, clinging to.

He manages to get out one final, awed, breath before he is leaning down just as Spencer is arching up and then suddenly Brendon is having his first kiss - it's his mouth against Spencer's and Ryan's hands securely on his shoulders and nothing is ever going to get better than this.

\---

They're playing Lying when Ryan locks eyes with him across stage, eyes clear and wide behind his sparkley mask, showing through the bangs carefully arranged over half his face. Brendon grins and angles his body towards Ryan's, singing lower, a teasing invitation. They've done this before, this is part of the act, part of how Ryan keeps himself safe and apart on stage, so Brendon isn't surprised when Ryan begins his approach. Brendon tosses his head and beckons Ryan's closer, one hand on the mike and the other on his thigh, and then Ryan is there, and they are singing into the same microphone and the crowd is starting to scream.

Brendon writhes against Ryan as he plays. He is smiling, he is singing, he is happy, this is his life every night and then suddenly Ryan is kissing him and Brendon is going to kill Ryan when they get off stage. He is having his first kiss in front of hundreds of screaming fans and it isn't even real.

He doesn't care who can see, he is going to shove Ryan away audience or no, when suddenly he realizes Ryan isn't even kissing him anymore. He isn't kissing Brendon anymore but he hasn't pulled away, their lips are still touching and the only reason Ryan's aren't moving anymore is because he's too busy smiling. Brendon pulls away enough to look, and despite the roar of the crowd and the music Brent and Spencer are still manfully playing around them, when Ryan lifts his eyes hopefully and says Brendon's name, soft and happy, that's all Brendon can hear.

The moment breaks and they play the rest of the set and Brendon decides against killing Ryan once they get backstage and collects kisses two through six instead.

\---

Brendon drops his bag to the ground and deposits himself dramatically into the last stool at the end of the bar. He sighs for extra emphasis and commands, "Give me the strongest thing you've got."

Jon gives him a mildly amused look, and starts making him the same caramel venti macchiato Brendon always gets.

Despite Jon's nonchalance, Brendon continues to express his inner pain. He puts his hands on his head and says, "My youth, Jon Walker. My wasted youth."

Jon nods absently, "Yeah," and pours the steamed milk into the cup.

Brendon takes his hands out of his hair and waves them around. "I'm 18! I'm in my prime!"

Jon holds up the whipped cream dispenser and Brendon nods but otherwise does not let himself be distracted by such things. "In my prime, Jon. The pinnacle of my youth and vigor."

Jon starts putting the sprinkles Brendon likes on the whipped cream, even though technically they're only for the mint mochas, which is totally unjust anyway. Brendon doesn't like mint. It's no reason to deny him awesome red sprinkles.

"Totally," Jon says agreeably, handing Brendon his drink.

Brendon licks off a considerable amount of the whipped cream and makes an involuntary happy noise before regaining his momentum. "And yet! And yet - despite that and my many other obvious virtues," he looks up and Jon nods supportively, as he should, "I am alone in this life. Unloved and most tragically unkissed."

He hadn't really planned on letting anyone in college know he used to be a huge band geek loser who couldn't get anyone, male or female, to kiss him, but then he'd met Tom and Jon at a floor party and Tom had gotten it out of Brendon is something like three minutes. Since then he felt it was their obligation to listen and be supportive of his pain in this, and other, areas.

Jon was busy serving someone else for a few minutes, but then he came back and wiped the counter supportively. Brendon held up his elbows until Jon was done. He took some sips of his drink.

"Can you explain this clear oversight of the universe?"

Jon shook his head. "I really can't."

Brendon thought of Ryan and Spencer, who were back in Vegas, and probably doing nothing other than kissing each other. Well, and going to college, one assumed. Ryan was kind of a workaholic and Spencer was little better. But in between, he was confident there was a lot of kissing. They'd been kissing the first time he met them, even. Stupid lucky assholes. Meeting your soulmate at the age of five. What the hell was that crap.

"I don't even look funny anymore!" Brendon was aware he had once looked pretty funny. But he was past such things now.

Jon's eyes lingered on Brendon's lavender hoodie, but he seemed suitably sincere when he said, "You really don't." He smiled. "Well at least not in a bad way."

Brendon laughed for the first time all day. Jon's free renegade-sprinkled-coffee was pretty delicious, but there were other reasons Brendon came in at the slowest part of his shift everyday. They had nothing to do with the fact that he had had at least three real chances of getting kisses the last month that he had turned down. Nothing at all.

Jon served more people and Brendon continued his drink. He got out a book but that was just in case Jon's manager came out from the back. It was unlikely, and also Jon's manager was Tom, but it was still important to have your props on hand. Brendon was a theater major, he knew about these things.

Jon came back over with a double chocolate cupcake and Brendon said, "I love you," because he was allowed to say stuff like that in the face of cupcakes, but also because he couldn't help himself, and because it was most likely true.

Jon smiled and leaned against the counter. "It's because I'm so awesome."

Brendon nodded vigorously and took another mouthful of cupcake. Around the chocolate and icing he said, "That's totally why."

Jon laughed when some of the cupcake fell out of Brendon's mouth despite his best efforts and he leaned closer to wipe a chocolate smear off the side of Brendon's mouth. Brendon's breath caught for a second because it was Jon, okay, but Jon didn't lean back away like he usually did.

Instead he said, to no one in particular, "I'm going on my break now," and then he was kissing Brendon. Brendon closed his eyes and tried not to screw it up - because what if he never got the chance again - but when Jon eased away he was smiling, so Brendon figured he hadn't screwed it up too bad. His every part of him was tingling. Kissing rocked.

He felt himself blushing, which he couldn't help, and staring at Jon dreamily, which he couldn't help either, but he did manage to say, "You just wanted to steal my cupcake," and was rewarded by a true, rumbly Jon Walker laugh.

"Or maybe I thought I'd finally take advantage of a great oversight of the universe. Maybe I just wanted to make sure no one else got there first."

Brendon was no Ryan Ross, his face was not under his masterful control, and when Jon said this he beamed up at him, and blurted before he could think about stopping himself, "How do you feel about being last, too?"

Jon's smile turned serious and he leaned back in close as he said, "I think I could handle that," and kissed Brendon again.

\---

Brendon was eight years old when he had his first kiss. It was at his cousin's birthday party and one of her friends grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him on the lips before running back over to her friends, giggling and hiding her face.

Brendon remembers she tasted like lemonade.

He has his first kiss that matters 11 years later after he watches Jon kiss Spencer, who then kisses Ryan, who turns to press a final kiss to Brendon's lips.

It's a little bit playful (Jon), a little bit claiming (Spencer), and just a bit desperate, giving in to hope, and that's mostly Ryan, but really, Ryan's the one who has it right when he says, lips still pressed against Brendon's, "That's all of us."


End file.
